"Pretending Again"

Reflect
The video is everywhere! And my YouTube algorithm knows my obsession too! You know the video—two executives, a Coldplay concert, an alleged affair. The news outlets are dissecting it. Social media is devouring it.

And I found myself caught up in the conversation, shaking my head with friends and family, offering opinions, and even some moral analysis.

But here’s something that surprised me. A subtle emotion I didn’t want to admit.

Maybe “excitement” isn’t the right word, but there was a certain twisted satisfaction. Like, “Wow… at least I’m not them.” That moment made me pause. Why was I getting a strange sense of validation from their fall? Why did their fall give me a false sense of pride?

Return
After this past week's Gospel-Centered Life study with my church, it hit me: I am shrinking my need for the cross by pretending again.

Like the Pharisee who held his head high while the tax collector wept (Luke 18), I was using someone else’s failure to prop up my own righteousness. “God, I thank you that I’m not like those people.”

That’s the sin of pretending—and shrinking the cross. I am making myself seem better than I am. I need to repent of the reality that the same pride, the same self-deception, the same capacity to fall lives deeply in my heart. Why? Because my heart craves the empty promises of my self-righteousness: worth, significance, comfort, etc.

Receive
In that moment of conviction, the Spirit gently reminded me that I don’t need to pretend because I am a child of God. I don't need to feel better by comparing myself to others. Jesus gave me what my self-righteousness longs for—His righteousness, His reputation, His record, His life. 

Rest
So today, I believe again in my justification in Christ. By faith, I am learning to receive Christ’s righteousness and His reputation as mine. And I am learning to let go of the illusion that self-righteousness promises.

I am home again in my Abba Father's house ... where I don’t have to hide my sin by pretending I'm better ... where I can be honest and be held in my Father's merciful and gracious embrace.

Respond
This morning, I prayed for the families affected by the scandal. But I also asked my Father to keep teaching me to put to death my false righteousness.